Saturday, November 7, 2015

Middle East Baseball

Middle East Baseball
Jim Qualls ©1998

The players suit for the game.

Spectators from around the world take their seats in the stands. The International Commissioners of Baseball strap on their  Blue Helmets and ready themselves  to ‘oversee’ the game.

One lone Jew takes his place on the pitcher’s mound.

Five Arab/Muslims take their position as catcher. Additional sets of Five Arab/Muslims each take their places at First Base, Second Base, etc. until all locations are manned and the two teams wait for the ‘play ball’.

A shout is heard from one of the five Arab/Muslim catchers: “We can’t start the game. It’s NOT fair. The Jew has the WHOLE pitcher’s mound. One of the FIVE Arab/Muslim Short Stops takes up the chant; “Its NOT fair, Its NOT fair, The JEW STOLE THE PITCHER’S MOUND and won’t let the Arab/Muslims  put any of their players there. The Five Arab/Muslims on Third Base join the protest “Its NOT fair, Its NOT fair, The JEW always tries  to cheat the Muslims.” Soon, the entire field of Arab/Muslim players is hollering threatening epithets “The Jew is a Son of a Monkey, The Jew is the Son of a Pig.” “The NAZI  JEW is trying to run the whole game and won’t let us have part of the mound.” “If the Jew gets to keep the whole mound for himself he is sure to WIN! Its NOT fair! Its NOT fair!”

Irate Arab/Muslims  approach the  stands with raised voices and arms “Make the Jew share the mound!! Make the  Jew share the Mound!!”

All the spectators petition the International Baseball Commissioners: “Make the Jew share the mound! The little HITLER  is trying to ruin the game for everybody! Stop the little NAZI! Why should he have the whole mound? The Arab/Muslims have NOTHING!”

International Baseball  Commissioners gather in emergency deliberation and render a “decision”  to settle the altercation and  start the game. “We can have no peace UNTIL the Jew shares the mound. The Jew MUST share the mound.”

The spectators receive the ruling with enthusiasm and voice their support with “MOUND FOR PEACE!  MOUND FOR PEACE!!!”

The Arab/Muslim players follow in unison “MOUND FOR PEACE!!! MOUND FOR PEACE!!!!”

The lone JEW on the pitcher’s mound looks to the sky with a whispered  prayer on his lips,  “By this I know that thou favourest me, because mine enemy doth not triumph over me.  Ps 41:11

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